I have a confession to make, about my driving. No I am not admitting that I am a bad driver, because I am not. My confession is this:
I can be an evil driver.
I love road trips, but when you have been driving for hours in the middle of nowhere, you have to find ways to amuse and entertain yourself so you don’t go insane. My remedy? To be EVIL. When there is nothing to look at on the road except for other cars, have fun with the other cars. I am expert, or you could call me an evil genius, at being an evil driver.
You may be wondering, what is it that I do to make me or anyone, an evil driver. There are many ways one could fit the criteria of an evil driver. Here are a few that I do:
- Mess with the other drivers. The key to this is to not appear to blatantly be messing with the other drivers. Don’t be obvious, act like you aren’t doing anything or as if this is how you normally drive. One way I do this is with the left lane. Keep in mind this can only be done when several other cars are present (not totally crowded but cars every few minutes or so). When I get really bored I switch into the fast lane and go just fast enough to be passing people, but just slow enough to drive the person behind me crazy. This make it so they have to either pass me in the right lane or just tail gait me and get pissed off and wait until I leave.
- Another slight modification of my first point is not letting the person behind you pass when they want. Not just not letting them pass, just not exactly when they want to. This is best to do with those crazy drivers on the road that think everyone will move over when they come speeding up. They are easy to spot, and easy to bother. This can be the most entertaining fun on a long road trip. Again you must have several cars on the road for this to work. Get in the fast lane before these people come up, pass a couple of cars until the road master comes right up behind you. They will probably tail gait you but don’t let it bother you. That is when you slow down just enough to slowly pass the car in the right lane. After you have cleared the car, they will expect ou to immediately get out of their way and into the right lane; don’t. After they figure out you aren’t going into the right lane, even though you should, you know the person behind you, as soon as they clear the car in the right lane, they will switch out of the left lane and try to pass you in the right lane. This is where you act. As you see them start to get into the other lane, speed up just enough so they don’t have enough room to pass you. Then they have to go back behind you in their shame and rage. It is very entertaining to watch them try again and again to pass you. You have to make sure not to make them too angry so after a few times of this actually let them pass. And always, always look at them when they finally pass you. It is pretty funny. Yes, evil I know. Can you blame me? Boredom really is a source of evil.
One thing I am going to point out is that no I do not do this normally. This is not how I drive so don’t worry about it. I only do this on road trips when I am really bored or if a driver is bothering me. The point of being an evil driver is to not push them too far, just enough to get a little reaction but nothing bad. To be a true evil driver you have to understand when the fun has gone to far or where there is room for more mischief. There are always more people on the road to mess with, don’t get attached to a certain car. If you ever go on a road trip with me you can always tell when I start messing with people because I sit there and snicker evilly to myself for no apparent reason.
Don’t be afraid my evil driving, it is very rare, but is very real. Hopefully my evil tips will help save your brain on a long road trip from insanity and boredom. Be evil, but be safe, not stupid.