I have been having requests to re-post the lemon water rant lately, so why not. This was one of my very first rants and I need to bring back the rants so here you go! There will be more to come.

I really, really hate it when at a restaurant they put lemon slices into your glasses of water. It ruins the water entirely.

I have four theories as to why someone might commit this heinous crime.

1. They are punishing us for not spending ridiculously large amounts on sodas or other beverages we don’t necessarily need but want. If they ruin the water, the customers need to drink something, as in my case while eating at a spicy thai restaurant, so the customers will be forced to either endure the gross lemon water or spend large sums of money on something else.
2. They are hiding something. Don’t know what. Don’t know why. They use the horrible lemon taste to mask some sort of other taste for god knows what reason. Then I am forced to wonder, whatever could be so wrong with their water, unless they take it from a restroom or some other unbeknownst place. (My mom mentioned this second reason and I agreed whole heartedly)
3. They just plain don’t like us. They for some unknown reason just want our taste buds to burn and suffer.
4. I don’t even believe this option is possible but here it is. They believe it actually tastes good. I shudder at the thought of someone believing this and hope that I am wrong.

So please, no more lemons in my water. There is only one thing that bugs me more than lemons in water, is limes in coke. WHY? So now they not only ruin the free water but the coke you paid three bucks for? Don’t get me started, it just makes me sick.

I know some of you are thinking this is pointless and wonder, why doesn’t she just take it out and stop whining. My reply, it doesn’t fix the problem. I don’t know how they genetically engineer these lemons to spread there juices the second it hits the water, but once the lemon goes in, the taste never leaves. Not to mention the uncouth methods for retrieving the drowning lemon. You can either stick your whole hand in and fish around or dig around with a utensil for a while cussing until you can spear it and drag it out. Take your pick, either way the lemon taste still contaminates it entirely.

This isn’t just because I dislike leomons, which isn’t true, I enjoy things with lemon flavors, or things with lemon in it. JUST NOT MY WATER. So again, please no more lemons in my water.