Poetry

I have yet again found myself Standing in front of the old wooden door Once it was beautiful But now no more It is broken and withered Destroyed by age But still I remember the time When behind that door A life was held Born and raised Someone lived behind that closed door But now they are gone Leaving the door wide open To let all evil inside It is empty now Only filled with time The only remnant left The old wooden door Long ago left behind It is hanging now By one rusty hinge Hidden in over grown grasses Blowing slowly in the wind I can’t remember the child’s name Who once lived behind this door No memories remain I try to remember But there is nothing left Just the old wooden door And a forgotten address

Show me what it means to be you Pour out your soul Let me look into the pool It leaves behind What will I see in the reflection Will it be just you Looking back at me With somber eyes And thin face that doesn’t smiles Or will I see something I will wish I had not A demon or just the other side The side you never show That hides behind you silent eyes Just draw and let me see What comes out to see me Will you use black or grey To outline your mind Or will there be color Spring out which I never thought I would find Is there something left in there You have been hiding from me Is there life left In your dead eyes Silently looking back at me Is there love Is there mercy Is their feeling Tucked away deep inside In a place You keep just for yourself That you hide far from the world Trying to protect what little Is sacred in your heart Will you show me And open up you heart Draw it Write it Or scream it out loud Please just do something So I know not to give up So I know you’re still alive So I know to keep digging No matter what horrors I find Because somewhere in there Is the person I once knew and loved Please show me What happened to you?

I found God Oh really, where He was underneath My grandpa’s old apple tree Well isn’t that silly Did you ask him What he was doing Underneath that tree Yep He said he was trying To understand Adam and Eve I don’t know who they are But he said they looked Just like me He said it made him sad That his children Had fallen so far away I told him maybe They would come back some day Did you say anything else I sure did I asked about Grandpa And my old dog Brick God just laughed and said They were happy here But they missed me so God told me To be patient That one-day I would grow up And the world would change He said to me That my soul Would forever remain Then he just got up And smile down at me Gave me an apple And said one last thing I am sorry dear child This is the last time You will ever see me I have a lot of work And no more time for play I have to bring in Adam And bring back Eve Take them from the serpents grasp So they can remember me at last Goodbye my child This is the last time You will ever see me Why I asked But he was already gone The little boy turned to me Unsure and sad Where does God go When he leaves the apple tree Does he find others Or is he just too busy I don’t know I somberly replied But I am sure he is watching And making sure you’re all right

A woman stands With a red balloon in her hand She looks tired And lonely Standing there by herself Her only company The little red balloon Some say she is looking for innocence she lost long ago Some claim she is waiting For her little girl To come home Some say she is watching For her husband to return And others say She is just a woman Waiting to grow old She had stood there Each day Since I can remember Always silent Always standing With her little red balloon She doesn’t approach anyone Or utter a word Just silently watching For something untold ...

Oh wolf eyed lover Look into my eyes And know I am not your enemy I am a part of you A dark soul To complete Your hollow entity Dance with me Oh wolf eyed lover Under the dying moon As the deserts burn And the ashes settle Sway with me Like the deserts Treasured flower Let the moon Bear silent witness As the earth stands still Oh wolf eyed lover Howl to the moon When I am gone Call me back When it has been Far too long You won these lands The barren deserts And forsaken lands Oh wolf eyed lover Don’t you see It is no longer A dog’s world But mans We are dying company Hunted and alone We can’t fight them Off forever Together we stand Oh wolf eyed lover The deserts dying flowers Float gently to the ground Where the ashes have settled And there is no longer sand Here we face the moon As our last stand Where once we danced Is now a deserted land Oh wolf eyed lover Can’t you see The world has moved on And left us behind There is no more room For happiness and love Only survival In these hard times Oh wolf eyed lover Don’t you understand This is the end The separation Of you and me Has finally become reality Our entity once whole Ripped to pieces To be no more Oh wolf eyed lover I will wait for you forever Turn on eye to the desert And one ear to the wind To listen for your cry Carried by the moonlight I will dance with the moon Wishing it was you Oh wolf eyed lover Save me a grave Under the cactus tree Where flowers fall And the moon watches As the dust finally settles Together we lay As it was meant to be Separated by life Brought together by death Oh wolf eyed lover

I am old now and broken travel one to many times the unbeaten trail now it has left me beaten wonder what happened in its forgotten trail standing on a dusty path I thought I knew but never did following you until the end but I lost you along the way I don’t remember how or why you left me standing here broken and betrayed but I am still waiting on this burning dusty day to not feel so broken and not feel so alone maybe I will wait forever just praying you will come home praying for strength to leave it be for all we have may never have been what was meant to be

It is too heavy He says For me to carry this alone I am slowly being buried Don’t leave me here in the cold What can I do She asks But is afraid Carry it with me He says Without looking away Make this one man’s burden Into two Saving me But damning you Do you care enough To give yourself up for me To be buried alive Under the weight Of eternity Will you carry my burden Until there is nothing left Will you save me From my curse And damn all the rest

When the sun has finally fallen And the clouds lay out of reach Where will you turn When open arms become traps And smiles become masks Where will you turn When the world looses color And everything fades to gray Where will you turn When a child cries And no one listens Where will you turn When the fog is too thick to see And the ground falls out below you Where will you turn When the heaviness of night weighs you down And not even darkness can hide you Where will you turn When the flower blooms But there is no beauty there Where will you turn When the voices of loved ones Becomes a noise you dread Where will you turn When you can’t look yourself in the face And you hate what you’ve become Where will you turn

Bukowski was right With good fortune Comes stagnation I always thought When fortunes comes Knocking on my doorstep I would open the door Greet her as a friend And invite her in Into my life Into my heart For a long time to come But now I find myself Standing on the otherside Of that door I hear her knocking Calling out for me But I just stand there Staring at the thin wall Between me and my dreams I pick my head up To stare at the door I am no longer sure That what is on the otherside Is what I want She calls and beckons Asking for an answer But I just turn And walk the other way Leaving fortune to it’s own ends Mine hasn’t come yet I am not ready To open that door Maybe someday When I become tired Of the suffering of the world But I know This is were I belong With a pen in my hand And a burden on my shoulders I walk away From destiny on my doorstep Waiting on the otherside No I am not Abandoning my dreams Not at all I have to chase them If I don’t now I never will And what good Is an unearned prize The door remains As it always was Leaving destiny On one side And me on the otherside

Follow me You say as you run But how do I know Which way to run When you leave me tracks Leading in every direction Catch me You say with a laugh But how can I catch you If you were out of my grasp So long ago Out of reach Out of sight Out of my control We are running In two different directions Still trying to find each other But we are lost Not with each other this time But alone I will be waiting at the crossroads When you are ready To come home