Postcards

There is the quiet hum Of a T.V. on silent Sterilized white walls Everything is so quiet Yet so very loud Footsteps echo in the halls Whispers sound like screams As they fall on dying ears Do you know who you are Or why you are here? Who ever knows Who ever will As they roll Another one away Down a long hallway That they never come back from He is the one who remains Locked in by See through curtains That cast shadows around him And thousands of tubes He is always alone No one ever at his side No family No friends No memories in the night To keep him company In the darkest hours of night Where the ghosts are so close And death stands at the foot Of his skinny little bed Telling him to come along It is finally your time There is just a pile of old postcards That he bought for himself What feels like a lifetime ago From all the places he had been And said he would never forget But now he can’t remember Anything at all He forgets where he is And who he is He is separated and detached From reality By what he lacks Waiting all alone In a white washed room With only a T.V. on mute For company And a stack of empty postcards All waiting for the inevitable The one thing he can never forget That death is lingering So very close He can feel its breath Whispering in his ear In a hospital room where Lethe Swept him away from all he knew And ever loved For him there is no future Or a past He is floating in an abyss Stuck between heaven and hell As the monitor beeps Slower and slower The man turns his head And looks at the postcards With old weary eyes He reaches with his weighted hands Shaking and fumbling As he picks one up A little smile on his dried cracked lips I remember He whispers but no one hears As the monitor stops And a lone tear Slips from his eye Staining the postcard As it falls Drifting slowly to the ground Remembered at last

January 13, 2010 · Monica Multer

Fragile

The fragility of life Is a very scary thing The thought that All you ever have worked at Is for nothing With just a cut A scratch Your life could be taken away An accident A slip Could send you astray That your life Could all just be Another burning ash In a cigarette try Just a walk Could be your last A fight with family Could bring an end So very fast Just a word softly uttered Could end it all A little slip Could wind up Being a very big fall Showing you that You really are Insignificant and small Just a speck In the eyes of all others In the face of God Every bone, every muscle Every word Every moment Could be taken away Ripped from you With just a thought Your world destroyed Never to return And no one Would ever know That you were gone

January 9, 2010 · Monica Multer

Welcome Home

Hells gate is always open For the son of man No closing time We keep our doors open Just for you We value your partnership You keep us alive Our only faithful sponsor Always coming back for more We have no doubts For your future We can see the path You have paved There is no denying it For in the end You will wind up On our doorstep Just begging to be let in And we will oblige you We have been expecting you We will say Opening our arms With a grin so wide It could split your face open But you have no idea What you are getting into Sadly though There is no escape This is your unwavering fate You were born into Damned from the start It is not your fault It is not mine It is just your nature To always have mischief on your mind Do not worry or be sad We here are welcoming You can think of me As an extended family Were home is hell And your reality is damnation Don’t be afraid Our door is always open All you have to do is knock

December 28, 2009 · Monica Multer

Rebel Children

Look into my eyes Please tell me what you see Do you know who I am Or have you seen someone Just like me Standing in the background With dark solemn eyes We are the Rebel Children Broken yet strong We can be found everywhere Or nowhere at all We are the vacant eyes Of a forsaken god Always watching But who sees nothing And does nothing Hollow and dark We are the stain glass windows Peering deep into your soul We do not pass judgment We are the just the eyes Of a century How foolish for anyone To have ever believe We as humans Were the images of angels We are god’s Rebel Children Never what we are expected To be in the end We fight through silence With our angry eyes Cast not at heaven But into the passersbys God didn’t make us this way We did We are the rampant soul Of a stubborn child We want only what we do not have And hate all else The consumers and buyers Burning a hole in your soul Grinding in a cigarette butt No chance for a fire ever again Snuff out that spark of life Leaving you in an eternity of darkness That you yourself created So empty and hollow Just trying to fill that hole The hole you burned With your money and lies With your jealousy and hate Slowly destroying your life We are the Rebel Children Who just don’t belong The ones who can’t sleep at night But can’t ever really wake up We are everything And nothing at all

December 13, 2009 · Monica Multer

Spider Web Stars

There are hands in my mind Reaching in and rummaging around Throwing out what is unwanted Digging deeper for treasure Pulling out string And throwing it up into the sky Making a spider web To hold up the stars Suspended on the strings Of my diseased mind Pulling out words Like building blocks Lying them on the ground All around you Locking you in Yet building you up Just to knock you down Filling me back up Unraveling the web Of the universe Putting it neatly away Back were it belongs But it will never be the same Because at one point It existed as a whole It was real for even the slightest Of moments not just a thought But a real tangible thing Where you could reach out And grasp onto the The trail of stars The spider web threads Weaving in the cold night air Each lone star lighting up The dark night sky Once it has a taste of reality It becomes a hunger that never abides Becoming a monster Always wanting something more But you can’t give it life You can’t give when you have Nothing left for your self My head is empty You took out all the words All the thoughts And left me nothing But a darkness and sadness That consumes my entity All that is left Is the string of a spider web On which I weave the sky You can’t fix me I don’t want to be fixed This is who I am What I was meant to become So I close my mouth And lookup at that sky Of spider web stars Knowing within them Lay the words Slowly unraveling into Something entirely new That the world has never seen The sky sags under its burden Crying as its words fall forth Falling to the worlds feet Where we pick them up And use them as we will Taking something that never belonged to us Abusing them and destroying them With no regards to the spider webs That held them up for so long Held the words of power The words of life and creation My words

December 4, 2009 · Monica Multer

Camera

The camera’s eye Swivels and rotates Focusing and unfocusing Trying to capture you In your purest form Or your darkest moment To swallow you whole In the blink of an eye It is watching you With it’s great eye Extending and retracting The glass reflects Back on you It reaches out for Your sprit Your very soul That brilliant shine The smile Always on your lips The laugh Bubbling out of you And the life That never dies Now lives on In the camera’s Unforgiving eye That swivels and rotates As it watches Be careful It is always watching

December 2, 2009 · Monica Multer

Boy Soldier

I wrote this poem in English class today, I think I like it. Not sure where it came from though. The razor runs over the boy’s head He doesn’t move or flinch Just stares ahead into oblivion With deadlocked eyes Into a future of unknown miseries With eyes held firm in a choice He had no part in making They shave his head Put a warm gun in his hands And teach him how to kill Teach him to steal a life without remorse They say Learn fast boy Or get ready to die young They smack him around Take the boy’s soft exterior And turn it into cold hard stone Rip out his heart and memories Of a time when safety was a given And love was always near Take all that he ever knew And throw it away The boy soldier hefts up his gun His lips sealed and dead eyes He has nothing left But the eternal fight for his soul Everyone runs from him Like he is a monster Because he is a monster One they made him into Ripped him from his home And gave him hate To battle an unknown enemy There is no escape for him Just a bloody sentence That he has no choice but to accept They label him and fear all like him And run at the sight of his gun Run they yell It is the boy soldier come home again But he won’t let it continue As he stands over the body Of a little girl the same age as him A bullet in her chest Blood blooming on her white dress Like a ruby flower blooming A bullet he shot from his gun The tip of the gun digs into the earth As he falls to his knees beside her He grips the dusty earth As he watches the last breathes Leave the dying angel Look how far he has fallen And for what, for whom No more he swears to the dry earth No more blood He turns the gun around In his rough scarred hands Covered in dust and blood They belong to an old man Not a twelve-year-old boy He put the gun to his head And pulled the trigger That he was taught to pull One more time The boy soldier fell Next to the dead angel girl There will be no more wars For this tortured soul No more rivers of blood Just the peace he never had But always deserved

November 30, 2009 · Monica Multer

Shopping Cart (Desperation)

There is a baby crying Uttering wails of fear As its face contorts Screaming and screaming Sitting in a shopping cart In a nearby empty lot The baby looks around Twisting from side to side Bawling loudly As it screams for help But she doesn’t possess The words to yell Her tiny hands Gripping the cold steel Of the handle bar Desperation etching Lines of age Into the infant’s Soft face The woman stands On the other side Of her car She slides down Against it as her body quakes Her tiny frame Rattled by her sobs That she snuffs out With a bony fist The mother sits crying Curled up into a ball Wondering If she should leave Can she do it Just walk away As her child screams She can’t take it She can’t do it anymore She is listening to her Precious baby wailing Just feet away Yet so very far from her The mother sits On the edge of a choice Between love and desperation She gave everything for her child And there is nothing left for her She can’t even feed herself now She has nothing left to give Except her love The infant And the mother Are separated by a car And a long space A need And a lack of everything Stands between them As they both cry Wishing for what Neither of them has Wondering what comes next

November 27, 2009 · Monica Multer

The Hat

The woman walks Along in a crowded street Surrounded by people Yet so alone A scarf like a noose Wrapped around her frail neck Hands shoved deep Into her pockets She only looks At the ground The rhythmic step of her feet Her wide hat Shields her from the world She ignores them Is afraid of them She wraps herself tighter In what is safe and comforting And is content in isolation So she walks along In a crowd of people Without faces The wind picks up For a moment it whispers A soft secret in her ear A riddle told to fast As the wind Carried her hat away The woman let out A short little gasp As her barrier was removed She reached forward Fingertips grazing it Just out of reach As it bounces and rolls Along the dirty street She chases in vain And no one will help Finally out of breath And out of heart She gives up Standing in the crowd Puffs of winter breath Clouding before her as she watches Her hat dance away Her hair billowing about her Watching with sad longing eyes She stands still among thousands As she turns to leave A tap on her shoulder She turns in surprise A man stands before her Her hat in hand Holding it out towards her A smile but no words She takes it and offers A shy little smile in return As she starts to pull it Back into place He reaches out to stop her Why He asks her You have such a pretty face He smiles and lets go Giving an impartial shrug You don’t need to hide You are beautiful you know He leaves her with His few soft words And a knowing smile She stands there Hat in hand Filled with his offerings Her eyes are wide And her hands slightly quake She lifts the hat Looking at it now And tosses it away She watches it Flit and dance in the sky Gone forever She smiles slightly The stranger’s knowing smile She doesn’t need it anymore

November 24, 2009 · Monica Multer

Perfection

Every second Youth wasted On planning Adulthood How your Life will End up And should Every second Of life Washed away Never to get back My house My career My husband And family Set in stone Finally I Reach my planned Life and happiness The perfect Husband Sits, reads the newspaper Drinks coffee He says He loves me The perfect Baby A little girl Sits in her high chair Angel with black hair Pale face Blue eyes The perfect Dog Never barks Nor bites The perfect House Just as I Had dreamed High ceilings In the rainy woods The perfect Job Writing and teaching Always published Students love me I am perfect My life complete Except I Had no childhood I wish I Had a perfect Childhood I am not Perfect My life is incomplete To live A perfect life I must Sacrifice Who I am I think to myself “This isn’t What I wanted” I don’t want To be Perfect “This isn’t What I wanted” I can’t Be perfect Because I am Unhappy I look At everything Just as I wanted Just as I planned Everything Planned out Perfect But now that I have it I don’t want it “This isn’t What I wanted” I planned So I could Be happy But now I have Lost everything That was really important Perfection Is a joke You can’t be Perfect Because to get Something You must give Something else up To be perfect Or happy You choose

November 21, 2009 · Monica Multer