Poetry

She leans into the mirror Closer and closer Until they are almost one She purses her lips As she slowly opens A tube of bright red lipstick She watches with reverence And a humble respect The monolith of red Emerge like a sword From its sheath On the tube it says rogue Like the rebel has become As she brushes it across her lips Soft as a feather Like a paintbrush Stringing out a line of calligraphy On the most pure of white paper She stays for a moment As she always does Looking her reflection in the eye Her eyes burn like emeralds A fire of ambition With pursed red lips And the smallest of smiles She is ready to conquer To never loose control Of her life ever again Now she is ready to face the world With her lips bathed in red The face of a new woman The only traces of the old Are exposed like roses On the petals of her lips The blood of the disposed of Her old dead self The self who used to look in the mirror To hollow eyes And bruises on her face No longer is it her own blood That lingers on her lips But the bright red paint Of everything she has overcome They ask her why she does it But they can’t understand How far she tries to bury The woman she once was The weak one who was beaten In her place stands a warrior Fierce and strong The trophies of her battles Laid down layer by layer On her lips The blood of those she has defeated And the blood she has spilt herself She is the rogue With the warriors seal Painted on her lips She faces each day Knowing that finally she can defeat it

She leaves her hearts In the strangest of places Hidden around the world Each heart for its owner Who lost it long ago But she kept them safe In the dark of the night Making sure their fire Never truly died Keeping them alive In the darkest of hours Nursing them back to life After they were broken After they were discarded With the drop of a hat She is the keeper of the hearts Holding each within her own Waiting on the outskirts For when it is finally time To return them to their owners The empty ones The ones without purpose Living a meaningless life She waits ever patient The unsung hero of hearts Who keeps the fire of life burning In this ever darkening world As long as the hidden hearts remain There is hope for humanity ...

Come sit with me in the dark Let me introduce you A first acquaintance That quickly becomes A long drawn out partnership With a parasite A monkey you can’t Seem to get off your back Sit me with Stand with me Cry with me Laugh with me In darkness This is a whole new world Where Hell Is only Hell No heaven behind Closed off gates And a smiling face Is the one you must beware Shake hands Politely speak to one another Soft drums beat near by Where children giggle Pointing at you Staring at you With eyes to big And too dark Sitting here Does it make you nervous You seem nervous You shouldn’t be This is home Welcome back son The lost child Long returned home We’ve been waiting Sighing out each breath Into darkness Where words fall From mouths So uncouth and unforgiving An ugly world full of beauty A contradictory that has No limitations or boundaries Where no ends meet The path just ends From the corners You are watched Stalked day and night By what You may never know Every time the lights go out You know I am waiting Waiting just for you I have lingered on the outside Watching from the sidelines But not for long So come sit with me In the dark Where secrets are told And lies are whispered And eyes are always looking Welcome home Make sure to shut the door Behind you tight Don’t let the darkness out

I find you dull and inconsistent You find me aloof and contrived We find each other irritated By one another We see each other More often than we both please Catching each others eyes As we turn around corners Trying to avoid eye contact When it is inevitable We always find ourselves Face to face with the things we hate The things we fear and wish never would be But yet here they are Opposites of nothing Similar in absence Meaningless in all I find you heartbreaking You find me despairing Yet we are the same The face in the mirror You wish you couldn’t see The devil on your shoulder Who told you who to be You are my adversary Yet you are me But every day I realize Too long I have been my own enemy

Winter is waiting Like an old hospital room White and clean Yet so foreboding They will wash the walls Of my presence Scrub away Until there is nothing left of me Strip down my pictures Replace them with plaster A life cast of me Molded too tight Until I cannot breathe Suffocating and gasping for air Inside a white washed room Sterilized of life Where dolls sit With clairvoyant glassy eyes Of Ovid’s butterfly Fluttering helplessly Settling down In a flourish of color Only to die slowly Caught in the grip Of Winter’s cold fist Such an absence Such a silence It deafens me Echoing off white walls The screams of the plastered casts Of those who came before me Faces protruding like the gates of hell Leaving me too blind to see Staring blankly At the horror before me I wonder why I am here Why I wound up In this white washed room Suffocating in a prison With no windows No sound Except the noise of madness And the sound Of a rotting brain As the butterfly takes its last gasps You left me here To slowly decay I watch the butterfly Curl, wither, and deform From the beauty it had been Watching my fate Unfurl before me With a merciless slowness I am waiting now For the white to capture me To whisk me away Into some fairytale dream A reprieve of this white washed room But the butterfly’s ashes Lay around me Staining my palms It will never leave me Winter is here With its worn cold hands I refuse to go with you But I cannot stay Take me with you butterfly For where I am going I hoped I would never be See you on the other side Of this damned eternity For now I will hope for a better destiny And try to avoid the inevitable By hiding behind the mask Of a butterfly’s face In plain sight A flourish of color in a white room Waiting for fate to find me

Crossing names out of address books After showers patter on a closed coffin Just a passing moment gone Putting down the pencil To look at the rain as it shifts Dancing in front of the window As the drops send ripples outward Pirouetting hand in hand with the grass as each petal bends slightly under the weight The water pulling its face down like a tear drop The face turned upward catches the rain Between the lines in your face Catching in the corner of your lips As a smile sneaks its way to your face The rain brushes your face With the tenderness of a lovers embrace Sliding down cheeks so the tears don’t show You face the sky alone With forgotten names rolling off of you Falling into muddied puddles Never to be recovered, never to be remembered Sifting into the soil, becoming part of the earth Like seeds weaving into the ground Returning home from life To the warm embrace of the world’s womb Wrapped in a veil of the earth’s tears From the earth but not of the earth Not yet, for now you rest among the tulips A shimmering rain drop Sending ripples into dreams Into the minds of those who never knew you Dancing with the grass I still miss you I will find you in the tulips in the earths embrace There your name will be written again Not in a book but in stone

Write in Pen He says blandly I look up surprised What? Always use a pen Pencils are worthless He blows out smoke From a drooping mouth Pulled down by age If you want your work To be serious Write in pen All else will be forgotten If it can be erased, It will be erased. I look at the old pencil Sitting in my hands It had grown small And grungy From repeated and relentless use But I always write in pencil I say as I watch His indifference Smirking at me Over the top Of a wilted old newspaper He shrugs Then you will be forgotten That was all he said As he folded his paper Dropped his cigarette Snuffing it out With the toe Of his fancy shoes I told myself to forget him His words meant nothing Just smoke and mirrors From a strange old man Yet here I am writing in pen

I will find the time for you again Another time When time has stretched out Like that old black cat Just laying Always laying there When time has come back Like the birds to my feeder When time comes back It will leave again Flowing back home Then out again Time has drifted by my window Knocking quietly But leaves as I crack open my window I leave a note for her A little song That says When you come back Come back again I will be waiting Waiting for you my friend I seal my window With that little scrap of paper Left on the outside Fluttering dangerously in the breeze But it never flies away It is still waiting For time Time to come back again To cross this side of the tracks And face me again Why did you leave Are the words Words that left holes In frosted glass Words whispered In a desperate time That won’t leave now Even though their meaning has The cat is still stretched out The birds have left the feeder The love note has blown away And the window is shut But where are you?

If I bet on Humanity I would be betting on a dream An idea that never truly formed I would be betting on hope On thin air Grasping for the wisps Of a shadow slipping away The half drawn portrait of a beautiful woman Not finished, never finished Betting on an abstract thing That could have been But never was If I bet on Humanity I would be a poor woman With empty pockets But a heart full of hope Left with nothing but everything Betting on the underdog Knowing it will loose But hoping Only hoping They will pull through in the end But never do ...

There are memories now Of a long lost love Of a passion who could have been But never was Resting in her eyes You can see the place where His kisses Left a burned out hole In her heart Fragile like a robin’s egg So nurtured so loved But it shattered on the ground She held her face so daintily once But no more Now she hangs it low As if it is too heavy To hold up on her own Once she had a fire That burned in her eyes But now all that is left Are the blackened coals Left behind Smoldering and decaying Do you know her name Once she was love Once she was loved Once she was a lover But now she is no one Love had carved out her heart And left her empty inside Now she is a shell Of her beauty Of her spirit That along with love Ever slowly died